Helping to “Spread the Stupidity”

Posted By on June 17, 2010

I’m not a regular email ‘forwarder,’ but occasionally one tickles my funny bone. Thanks D.

Only in  America …

  • do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy  cigarettes at the front.
  • do people order double  cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk  in the garage.
  • do we buy hot dogs in packages of  ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Ever Wonder …

  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why  women can’t put on mascara with their mouth  closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins  Lottery’?
  • Why is  ‘abbreviated’ such a long word? 
    Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
  • Why is  lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and  dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called  ‘rush hour’?
  • Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why do they sterilize the needle for Lethal Injections?
  • Why don’t we make whole planes from the indestructible black box ?
  • Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
  • Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

IF …

  • con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • flying  is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Comments

  • ellis robinson

    Funny stuff. I’m enjoying reading your miscellaneous stuff on your blog although my politics don’t seem to be completely aligned with yours. Keep up the humor to lighten the seriousness of our situation.

Desultory - des-uhl-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee

  1. lacking in consistency, constancy, or visible order, disconnected; fitful: desultory conversation.
  2. digressing from or unconnected with the main subject; random: a desultory remark.