Challenging changes that were part of 2013

Posted By on December 27, 2013

It has been both a wonderful and unsettling year of change for our family. We’ve had the highs of a wedding (Katelyn and Drew) and a college graduation (Taylor),  AND the emotional lows with the passing of parents. The above events were as they should be and in keeping with the human conditiondementia-brain-chabut the unexpected changes were in dealing with what we didn’t anticipate or at least didn’t plan for. From Taylor moving far enough away that we don’t see him, to a father learning to live life “alone” after the passing of his wife … or a mother-in-law moving in with daughters and struggling with the all too common decline in mental ability “enough to interfere with daily life” known as Dementia. It’s the latter which has impacted our lives the most in 2013.  Giving the proper care to Brenda’s mom has been the most challenging change for us as we adjust from caring for kids to caring for parents. Obviously we are not the only families caring for parents with dementia; according to numbers from 2010, there were 35.6 million affected worldwide. There isn’t a “cure,” although cholinesterase inhibitors are being used in an attempt to slow the progression (with less than optimum results). Hopefully with diligent exercise for both the body and mind there might be a way “we” can learn successfully navigate, living with, and living with someone who has dementia?

It is peculiar how dementia affects the mind. Brenda’s mom for the most part is happy and content to be living with her girls. She is still opinionated and loves to share her thoughts on a variety of subjects. Some are spot on, but other times they can be a bit eccentric or questionable (not sure she needs that cute convertible sports car – then again, do any of us really “need” a convertible sports car?) Then there are times she will truly amaze you … like out of the blue when saying grace at the table, she recites an entire hymn from childhood memory.

  Mom Howard from memory recites “I Do Not Come Because My Soul”- 2013

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Desultory - des-uhl-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee

  1. lacking in consistency, constancy, or visible order, disconnected; fitful: desultory conversation.
  2. digressing from or unconnected with the main subject; random: a desultory remark.