Helping to “Spread the Stupidity”

Posted By on June 17, 2010

I’m not a regular email ‘forwarder,’ but occasionally one tickles my funny bone. Thanks D.

Only in  America …

  • do drugstores make the sick walk all the way to the back of the store to get their prescriptions while healthy people can buy  cigarettes at the front.
  • do people order double  cheeseburgers, large fries, and a diet coke.
  • do banks leave both doors open and then chain the pens to the counters.
  • do we leave cars worth thousands of dollars in the driveway and put our useless junk  in the garage.
  • do we buy hot dogs in packages of  ten and buns in packages of eight.
  • do they have drive-up ATM machines with Braille lettering.

Ever Wonder …

  • Why the sun lightens our hair, but darkens our skin?
  • Why  women can’t put on mascara with their mouth  closed? Why don’t you ever see the headline ‘Psychic Wins  Lottery’?
  • Why is  ‘abbreviated’ such a long word? 
    Why is it that doctors call what they do ‘practice’?
  • Why is  lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and  dishwashing liquid made with real lemons?
  • Why is the man who invests all your money called a "broker"?
  • Why is the time of day with the slowest traffic called  ‘rush hour’?
  • Why isn’t there mouse-flavored cat food?
  • Why didn’t Noah swat those two mosquitoes?
  • Why do they sterilize the needle for Lethal Injections?
  • Why don’t we make whole planes from the indestructible black box ?
  • Why don’t they make the whole plane out of that stuff?
  • Why don’t sheep shrink when it rains?
  • Why are they called apartments when they are all stuck together?

IF …

  • con is the opposite of pro, is Congress the opposite of progress?
  • flying  is so safe, why do they call the airport the terminal?

Comments

Desultory - des-uhl-tawr-ee, -tohr-ee

  1. lacking in consistency, constancy, or visible order, disconnected; fitful: desultory conversation.
  2. digressing from or unconnected with the main subject; random: a desultory remark.
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