Posted By RichC on October 17, 2005
I found this “top ten most ridiculous products of the future” list too funny to pass up, so I’ve included it here. Starting with number TEN. Drum roll please …
10. This search engine is a huge power house, and we all know that. It’s still going to gain more power with the Google Tivo. With this little box, you’ll be able to store all your favorite TV shows, photos, music, memories, and useless thoughts forever. The funny thing is that Google will probably be able to robot crawl your box.
09. When they started making razors with 3 blades, we all thought it was ridiculous. As time pasted, people actually warmed up to the idea. So, with that in mind, here’s the new Gillette LightSpeed. This bad boy has 21 blades that can shave your entire face or back in no time. Just make sure you have tons of dignity by your side.
08. Microsoft likes to put out OS’s that have tons of bugs still in them. That’s why they’re going to introduce Windows CSI. This OS has the ability to launch it’s own investigation team whenever there’s a problem. This will finally help Bill, and his crew understand the motives behind them. Just remember, there’s no funny intro puns or any Who music at startup.
07. When you where a little kid this brand of glue was everywhere. By the time you reach adulthood. Elmer will finally introduce it’s brand new Deodorant. You’ll now be able to glue your armpits shut. That way, it’ll be impossible for any smells to come out and play. The only drawback, is that it’ll leave behind a sticky white residue.
06. Jumpman and Adidas aren’t doing so well in the financial department. So, it made it logical when they decided to team up, and produce the Air Adidas. Production will probably cost them about 20 dollars to make. Which will then be sold for 180 dollars. But, you’ll now have two famous logos on one sneaker. I can’t wait until they release their Nike Air Adidas.
05. You know this corporation owns all your souls. Especially, when you decide to pay 5 bucks for a coffee. They’re gonna go to the dark side, when they introduce the Starbucks Beer. You’ll now get a chance to get buzzed and energized at the same time. But don’t forget, you’ll probably be paying 10 bucks, along with you best friend’s soul to get one.
04. Women just love it when a man smells like their old grandpa. So, why not take things a step further with the Old Spice Mouthwash. You’ll now be able to smell like an old man from your damn mouth. And you all know women go crazy for that strong, minty masculine scent. Just make sure you don’t pack it
on too heavy.
03. When it comes to making a cool looking PC mouse, Logitech stands at the forefront. But, it was about time they made a practical mouse, like the new Extra Long. This mouse gives you the ability to rest your entire forearm on it. You can also use it as a giant paperweight. Just make sure you buy the extra wide mouse pad to go along with it.
02. Having a workout gym at home is a great idea. So, if your looking for one, why not get the Bowflex Extreme Extreme? This machine comes with 2 tons of power resistance, and a simple design layout for easy storage. Which was made possible by not having a workout bench at all. Don’t worry, though. At least you’ll be working out in an extreme way.
01. First, there was the iPod (garbage). Then there was the 20gb iPod (more garbage). And then came the iPod Shuffle (random garbage). But, finally there was the new iPod Nano (nano garbage). Which now, leads us to the new iPod Invisible. This thing isn’t really going to get made. It’s just another way for Apple to make 300 dollars for some more hot garbage.